The Annual Fraud Report 2024 from UK Finance reveals that £1.17 billion was lost to fraud in 2023, with 2.97 million confirmed cases—representing over 40% of reported crime.
Likewise, the Federal Trade Commission reported that American consumers lost more than $10 billion to fraud in 2023, with 2.6 million fraud reports filed—a 14% increase from 2022.
Fraud, in all its forms, continues to be a persistent and major challenge for financial institutions across the globe. This activity's rise is attributed to the weaponization of generative AI to create, translate, and personalize social engineering attacks. These sophisticated tactics now make it incredibly difficult to discern if attacks are real or not, and among these is a particularly pervasive type: romance scams.
According to the FBI, romance scams occur “when a criminal adopts a fake online identity to gain a victim's attention, affection, and trust. The scammer then uses the illusion of a romantic or close relationship to manipulate and/or steal from the victim.”
In the UK, romance scams average nearly ten payments per case. Still, the damage done by these scams often goes beyond just the financial and into significant emotional and psychological harm that victims carry through the years that follow.
In many cases, the victim is still engaged with their perpetrator despite warnings or proof of a scam because they are still being manipulated into believing otherwise.
While banks play a crucial role in detecting and preventing fraud, completely stopping romance fraud is complex. As Rick Small, Head of AML and Sanctions at Truist Bank and an AML RightSource Advisory Board member, says, “It's the customer's money. They are free to do what they want with it, and we unfortunately can't stop them.”
Fraudsters will manipulate their victims into willingly transferring money, making it difficult for banks to distinguish between legitimate and fraudulent transactions.
While banks can advise and alert customers against potentially risky transactions, they have limited power to prevent them if the customer insists on proceeding. If the bank denies the customer access to their money, this could result in litigation or the customer moving to another bank altogether.
Unfortunately, by the time victims realize they’ve been scammed, it’s often too late. At best, the timeframe to halt or reverse a transaction is usually a few days at most. Adding to this complexity, many romance scams originate overseas, limiting local law enforcement's jurisdictional ability to prevent and apprehend these criminals without further international cooperation.
Debby Montgomery Johnson, a victim, advocate, and Chair of the Board of Directors for the Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams (SCARS) offers this advice: “Be aware and beware, it's happening to everyone.”
Romance fraud can happen to anyone. In fact, the perfect targets are those who think they cannot be scammed. Fraudsters will gather as much information about you as possible and use it to their direct advantage.
Enjoy long walks on the beach? So do they.
Religious? So are they.
Lost someone you loved? So did they.
Recently divorced? They are, too.
You get the picture. Coercive control lies at the heart of these scams and regardless of the narrative spun by the fraudster, it will inevitably lead to them urgently needing money. But Debby says, “If anybody asks you for money, and you have not seen them and touched them in person, don’t give it to them.”
Romance scammers are also well-educated, well-trained, and well-funded. It's a game of manipulation: they follow well-rehearsed playbooks, and they will have an answer to every objection, but if you listen closely, the stories are the same. Debby also refers to scammers as ‘they’ because these are not lone operators. Instead, they are part of large, sophisticated organized crime groups often involved in other types of illegal activity, such as goods smuggling or human trafficking.
Debby also encourages listening to victims without judgment, and that banks need to continue to build their level of understanding in how to spot the signs of romance fraud and communicate with affected customers through compassion and understanding. “Watch your words and be careful with the way you talk to them; we don't need anybody else to victim blame because the victims blame themselves the most.”
Be Skeptical
Be wary of anyone you meet online who quickly professes romantic intentions and wants to move to more private forms of communication like email or instant messaging. Dating platforms have safety measures and protocols in place to protect their users, and inappropriate behavior can be reported and traced. As soon as you move to private communication channels, this ability to monitor and intervene is lost.
Do Your Research
Conduct an online search or even a background check on your new friend. Google offers a fantastic feature that allows you to reverse-search an image to trace its original source. While this may seem excessive, the digital world we live in requires higher levels if vigilance, and this step could reveal that the person behind 'their' photo is not who or what they claim to be.
Keep Personal Information Private
Don't share personal or financial information with someone you've only met online or have not met in person. It’s paramount that you fully vet and understand the background and intentions of anyone you choose to share that information with.
Verify Their Story
Consider it a red flag if someone claims to be from your area but is currently overseas for work. Also, be suspicious if their story about who they are and what they're doing changes or is vague.
Never Send Money
No matter what the story might be, never send money or give out your credit card number or bank information to anyone you've met online. It’s not an unreasonable requirement to utilize a vetted, well-known payment service provider to process transactions either. The added security that comes with these platforms can further mitigate your risks, but it’s still your responsibility to exercise extreme caution all the same.
Trust Your Instincts
If something seems off, it probably is. Trust your feelings, and don't be afraid to end communication with someone who seems suspicious. Don’t hesitate to escalate your concerns to the proper oversight bodies as well. You could end up saving someone else from falling victim down the road.
Report Suspected Romance Scams
If you suspect you're a romance scam victim, stop communication at once and report it to the online dating site, the Federal Trade Commission, and your local law enforcement agency. While painful, do your best to provide as much information as you can about your experience to help provide further context that could help strengthen future scam identification and mitigation techniques.
Consult with Friends and Family
Share details of your online relationship with friends or family members, as they can offer a more objective view of your situation. Remember, the fraudsters will purposely try to alienate you, and if you don’t feel comfortable doing this, that's another red flag.
Romance fraud continues to be an underreported, under investigated, and hugely misunderstood danger plaguing us all. For further insights, tune in to our latest AML Voices Webinar: Relationship Scams – How to Detect, Interdict, and Report Them, featuring Debby Montgomery Johnson, Rick Small, and John Byrne.
Other Helpful Resources
Society of Citizens Against Relationship Scams (SCARS)
Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)
Reporting Scams to the Federal Trade Commission
Dating or Defrauding? Protect Yourself Against Romance Scams With Help From the Government